Category: Disability

Celine

On By Kelly Dyck MisnerIn Celine Dion, Comfort, Disability, Faith, God, Health, Hope, Love, MusicLeave a comment

So, can I tell you something?

Celine is back.

I probably don’t need to explain this, but on the off chance that I do, I’m talking about Celine Dion, and her return to the stage in all of her glory, after a six year absence.

In 2022, Celine announced a diagnosis of Stiff Person Syndrome, a neurological condition that had resulted in the loss of her voice. She has been undergoing medical treatment, physical conditioning and voice training, resulting in her triumphant return to the stage in Nanterre, France, earlier this month.

I’ve watched videos of Celine singing, resplendent in her stage costumes, emotional and teary eyed, and I’ve been moved to tears as well. I’m happy for her. I felt as relieved as she looked while belting out the power ballads that she’s built her career on.

I’ve appreciated her transparency and the courage required to share her journey with the world. I feel the depth of her gratitude, and love for the act of singing and for the fans that showed up and will continue to show up.

I understand receiving an unexpected diagnosis, after struggling with frightening symptoms. I have experienced the sorrow of watching important parts of my life change, lessen or disappear altogether.

I am at a time in life where my chronic illnesses and pain have created a significant impact on my life.

There have been losses.

I have been gathering a box of tools to help me to manage symptoms, to prevent, if possible, more issues, to provide comfort, calm my nervous system and to improve what can be improved.

This is where the reality of “flares” comes in. Recently I had two days of relatively less pain, I could even walk normally. That was followed by four days, as of today, or increased pain.

I couldn’t tell you why I felt better or why I now feel worse, it’s all a bit maddening.

On some level, chronic pain and illness is an equalizer. I don’t have millions to spend on doctors, treatments, medical, mental health and physiotherapy professionals. That’s a difference. Still, I do know the “gut punch” feeling of receiving a frightening diagnosis, of living with a wonky body.

I also know the wonder of hope.

Watching Celine Dion take back the stage was to share in the joy of hope. Hope in the possibility of taking back a loss, of settling a torment. The hope that God has not closed His ears, that His plan in the present moment involves a reprieve, or a change of circumstances all together.

The hope that celebrates another’s recovery, that applauds returned strength and stamina, that high fives the flare free days.

Hope that dances, even from a chair, that shared sighs of relief and cries happy tears.

Hope, that sings.

Abilities and Disabilities

On By Kelly Dyck MisnerIn Disability, Faith, God, Health, Hope, LoveLeave a comment

So…can I tell you something?

I’m disabled. There. I said it. It’s not a thing that I want to have been said.

And, no offense to you, it’s not a thing that I want to tell you.

It’s not a thing that I want to be true.

During the spring and summer I had quite a few doctor appointments and tests, and I found myself struggling to get to them.

Of course I didn’t want to go to them, who would? I also repeatedly found myself at the far end of the incredibly long parking lot at Heywood Hospital, trying to figure out how to get the the front door, and in the case of my pain doctor’s office, all the way through the hospital.

I had been using a cane, and that helped. What would have helped even more would’ve been a handicap placard. With my face on it. I think my late mother-in-love’s placard is still floating around my car but I’m a bit of a paranoid rule follower to go that route.

I need a handicap placard with my name on it. I asked my doctor to fill out the forms and she did. My clinical diagnosis is fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis. The duration of the placard to be issued? She placed a big, black check in the “permanent” box.

Well, dang.

I know it’s going to be okay. I have a deep and powerful sense of God’s purpose for me, so it’s not that I feel useless.

Having cared for my parent-in-loves to the end of their lives, I knew without a doubt how inherently valuable and precious they were, and that caring for them was a privilege. Not that it was always easy, I’m not going all Pollyannaish here. It was worth it. They were worth it. God installed that straight into my heart for them, and so, lo and behold, it’s also there for me.

I think it’s my pride. Brian bought me a pretty cane. I need it for longer walks. I’m trying to work up the gumption to go for a walk in my neighborhood with it.

It’ll happen.

I am not powerless. I do many things to strengthen my body, and to make my gut happy, because there’s a incredible ecosystem in there and it influences so many places in the body that it has been dubbed “the second brain.”

I did manage to heal my gut from chronic diarrhea, which I’ve had for over nine radiation therapy for uterine cancer. I used a combination of probiotics, hooray for kimchi and kefir, and lots of fiber to keep the probies well fed.

I am not powerless. There are ebbs and flows to my pain and weakness. I have options. Choices. Avenues. Solutions.

I am also disabled.

There. I said it.