Mark 14:6 – “‘ Leave her alone,’ said Jesus. ‘Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me.'”

Today, in My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers encouraged me to ask myself, “Have I ever been carried away to do something for God not because it was my duty, not because there was anything in it at all beyond the fact that I love Him?”

Have I?

I believe that there have been times when my actions in the life of another person were an  reaction to my love for Him. When my heart is drawn to broken, marginalized people, I believe that my love for God is expressing itself with love for those that He loves.

But, is it always for God? Or am I beginning to identify myself as the good type of Christian, the kind that loves the “least of these,” unlike those other Christians, who just follow rules. My heart is so prone to pride, to arrogance, that if I am not seeking God every moment, every good thing in me starts to slide into ruin.

I don’t want to focus on my good deeds, because that’s all they are, when I have the beautiful face of Jesus in front of me.

Maybe it’s as if my husband spent all his time studying and working to be a good husband, incessantly asking himself, am I a good husband? Wouldn’t I rather he simply spend time with me, pay attention to me, be with me? Wouldn’t his loving actions naturally flow from our intimate time together? Of course it would.

Lord God, I am reaching out to You, and You alone. I love you, and I long to love You more. Create in me a clean heart, teach me how to live in simple, abundant, reckless, passionate love for You. Broaden my love, God. Expand it, enrich it, embolden it. And, whatever it takes, guard my heart so I am always and ever seeking and loving You. Amen.